Even More Lebowski Haikus!

Even More Lebowski Haikus!

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Nothing is f*cked,
We need more Lebowski poems!
This is our concern…

Rolling with Jesus?
Watch your ass on Wednesday!
And clean off your ball…

It’s not a weekday,
Mind if I do a “J” man?
Enjoy your Sunday!

Are you nihilists?
Do you care about nothing?
Where are your haikus?

Look around the room….
Nihilists everywhere!
Believe in nussing.
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Hey Dudes and Ladies
It’s Lebowski Fest weekend!
Anyone going?

One more for you all:
The Dude abides in your mind
Lost my train of thought….

Dude’s in Malibu
Lovely beach community
Too many fascists

The word “Vagina”
Are you uncomfortable?
Try a pink taco.

Dude is an angel
He was sent from the Heavens
For all us sinners
bzCemBG

Need a Dude haiku?
Enjoy a White Russian!
Well, the Dude abides.

Super Bowl Sunday
The Dude is not a golfer
Got any nachos?

Dude, it’s Saturday.
Just another day of rest…
Good Shabbos you all!

Today is the ninth.
And tomorrow is the tenth.
Marty wants the rent.

Does the Dude like pie?
The pie is not the issue!
Let them eat cake Dude.
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You want a toe cake?
I can get you a toe cake.
Cake by three o’clock.

Vagina, Johnson
And a pair of testicles.
Genitalia!

No shots fired Dude,
He’s having a heart attack
Call an ambulance!

Bulk of the series
And a good day to you Sir
He has health problems

St. Patrick’s Day sh*t?
Brother Shamus, Irish Monk…
Two oat sodas please.
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The Dude loves Friday
Takin’ it easy today
Is this a weekday?

Disturbing my calm.
In the bath, doing a “J”
Bad dudes in my house!

Is this a weekday?
Mind if I do a “J” man?
Daily regimen!

Time for some Creedence.
Much better than the Eagles.
Why not do a “J”?

He is The Stranger
Likes good sarsaparilla
Tells us the story
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The Lifeguard parties
You insult Sam and he will
Roadhouse on your *ss

Lots of Ins and Outs:
Adhere to drug regimen.
Have a beverage!

Listen to the whale
Adhere to your regimen
Find your inner peace

April Twentieth!
I enjoy recreation.
Weed taster/tester

April Twentieth:
The Dude abides in your mind
Lost my train of thought….
Happy 420!

In-n-Out Burger
On Ventura Boulevard…
Those are good burgers.

He surfed beaches
Donny who loved bowling
Rest in Peace sweet prince

The funeral home
Dude enjoys the candy dish
And Walter watches

A tragic end for
Donny who loved bowling
Get a coffee can

Like dust in the wind
Blow away over the Dude
Donny in the can
Folgers-Coffee-Can-Urn

I am a Dudeist
In case of emergency:
Call Walter Sobchak

The Fourth of July,
This aggression will not stand!
Time to BBQ.

Dude loves Saturday
No work and doin’ a “J”
Takin’ it easy

Franz, Uli, Kieffer
Three guys with nussing to lose
Do you need a toe?

Ve vant the money
Or we cut off your Johnson
Step on it, smush it

nihilistslebowski

Ders nussing to it
Nihilism is easy
But it’s exhausting

Sunday night TV?
Watching “The Big Lebowski”
and doing a “J”

Have a beverage!
As seen on television:
A White Russian Dude!

Jeffrey Lebowski
One is Human Peraquat
One rolls bowling balls

Only one am I
Cares about the rules I do
Yoda was a Dude
Yoda

Sunday, Sunday, Dude.
Enjoy your recreation!
Don’t be a golfer.

Dressed in purple
Jesus is a pedorast
Lives in Hollywood

He’s a pervert Dude
Showing it to eight year olds
But that creep can roll

A double-double
and a chocolate milkshake
is on the menu

Little Lebowski?
Proud we are of all of them.
Dude was adopted.
achieverscert

Halloween costumes!
Let your husbands dress up as
The Dude and Walter

Another costume
This one for the Lady Dudes
Maude as a Viking

Fascists everywhere!
Another “Lebowski” group
Censorship is BAD

Dude loves Thanksgiving!
Turkey with all the fixin’s
But first do a “J”

It’s Veteran’s Day.
Dude was not in Vietnam.
Men Who Stare At Goats:

“Neither was Walter”
That was my last haiku line,
Originally.

In time of trouble
Turn on the Big Lebowski
And fire up a “J”

When Dude drinks the cream
It’s Alice in Wonderland
Is it all a dream?

Dude is high on life
And high on cannabis too
You should smoke a “J”

Don’t drop that doobie
Pay attention when you drive
And don’t crash the car

Takin’ it easy
Loved the “Sound of the Whales”
Jerry was a Dude.
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Just my opinion:
Alter your drug regimen!
Write a damn haiku!

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Brandt has to pay you.
He wants to watch you suck c*ck.
Have a nice day Dude.

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Watch this video!
You have something else to do
On ThrowbackThursday?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

UPDATED Monday January 7, 2019

Golden Globe in hand
El Duderino on stage
HIGHlight of the night
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“This is What Happens Larry!”

“This is What Happens Larry!”

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John Goodman as Walter Sobchak in “The Big Lebowski”

Walter Sobchak:
[shouted repeatedly while smashing a car with a crow bar]
This is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the ass!

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“You see what happens, Larry?!
This is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the ass Larry!
[Proceeds to smash up what he wrongly believes is Larry’s new Corvette]
This is what happens, Larry! You see what happens Larry?!
You see what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the ass?!”

walter

SPOILER ALERT:
The Dude’s car is stolen, with the real ransom money briefcase still inside…
The car is found by the police without the ransom money, and the Dude reclaims it. Later, the Dude finds the homework assignment of a high school student named Larry Sellars (he’s flunking Social Studies) inside. Taking this to mean that Larry was the one who stole the car, Walter and The Dude go to his house, believing Larry has also stolen the money. When Larry refuses to respond to Walter and the Dude’s threats, Walter wrecks a new sports car parked outside which they assume Larry bought with the money.

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“This is what happens Larry, when you f*ck a stranger in the ass!”

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Uncensored:

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“This is what happens Larry!”

The Dude: Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you’re going to have
to face the fact you’re a goddamn moron.

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And here’s the ridiculous “network television” version:

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Walter Sobchak: You’re entering a world of pain!

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The Dude: Just take it easy man.
Walter Sobchak: I’m perfectly calm Dude.
The Dude: [shouting] Yeah, waving the fucking gun around? 
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are. 
The Dude: Will you just take it easy?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.

LEBOWSKI!

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Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong? 
The Dude: You’re not wrong Walter. You’re just an asshole. 
Walter Sobchak: Okay then.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY TO JEFF BRIDGES!

“The Big Lebowski”
Written, produced and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
Starring Jeff Bridges as Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski, John Goodman as Walter Sobchak and Steve Buscemi as Donny (“Donny, who loved bowling”)
USA release date: 
March 6, 1998

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IMG_7695

In-N-Out Burger

“Those are good burgers Walter.” ~Donny

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There is an In-N-Out Burger in North Hollywood,
but it’s not on Radford or on Camrose,
it is located at 5864 Lankershim Blvd near Burbank.

Read the Blog! “In-N-Out Urge! National Burger Day!“>
http://wp.me/p3dhVM-1wu

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“Is this your homework Larry?”

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Larry Sellars’ Homework – “He’s flunking Social Studies!”