Tag Archives: stage

The Cheese Shop Sketch

The Cheese Shop Sketch
by Monty Python’s Flying Circus


NOTE: Friday was National Cheese Day! So we ripped and edited this sketch.
And then last night PBS had a special about “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” on.
So, here it is. Makes us laugh everytime! Cue the Bouzouki music.

(a customer walks in the door.)

Customer (John Cleese): Good Morning.
Owner (Michael Palin): Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!
Customer: Ah thank you my good man.
Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?
C: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through ‘Rogue Herrys’ by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
O: Peckish, sir?
C: Esuriant. O: Eh?
C: ‘Ee I were all ‘ungry-like! O: Ah, hungry!
C: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, ‘a little fermented curd will do the trick’, so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!
O: Come again?
C: I want to buy some cheese.
O: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player!
C: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!
O: Sorry?
C: ‘Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tune, ‘yer forced to!
O: So he can go on playing, can he?
C: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
O: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
C: Well, eh, how about a little Red Leicester.
O: I’m, a-fraid we’re fresh out of Red Leicester, sir.
C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?
O: I’m afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
O: Ah! It’s beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
C: ‘T’s Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese? O: Sorry, sir.
C: Red Windsor? O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
C: Ah. Stilton? O: No.
C: Gruyere? Emmental? O: No.
C: Any Norwegian Jarlsberger, per chance? O: No.
C: Liptauer? O: No.
C: Lancashire? O: No.
C: White Stilton? O: No.
C: Danish Blue? O: No.
C: Double Gloucester? O: (pause) No.
C: Cheshire? O: No.
C: Dorset Blue Vinney? O: No.
C: Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l’Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L’Est, Boursin, Bresse Bleu, Perle de Champagne? O: No.
C: Camembert, perhaps?
O: Ah! We have Camembert, yessir.
C: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
O: Yessir. It’s ah… it’s a bit runny.
C: Oh, I like it runny.
O: Well,.. It’s very runny, actually, sir.
C: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
O: I…think it’s a bit runnier than you’ll like it, sir.
C: I don’t care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
O: Oooooooooohhh……..! (pause)
C: What now?
O: The cat’s eaten it.
C: (pause) Has he? O: She, sir.
C: Gouda? O: No.
C: Edam? O: No.
C: Caithness? O: No.
C: Smoked Austrian? O: No.
C: Japanese Sage Darby? O: No sir.
C: You… do have some cheese, don’t you?
O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It’s a cheese shop, sir. We’ve got-
C: No no… don’t tell me. I’m keen to guess.
O: Fair enough.
C: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale. O: Yes sir?
C: Ah, well, I’ll have some of that!
O: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that’s my name.
C: Greek Feta? O: Uh, not as such.
C: Uuh, Gorgonzola? O: No
C: Parmesan? O: No
C: Mozzarella? O: No
C: Pippo Creme? O: No
C: Danish Fimboe? O: No
C: Czech sheep’s milk? O: No
C: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese? O: Not -today-, sir, no.
C: Aah, how about Cheddar?
O: Well, we don’t get much call for it around here, sir.
C: Not much ca–It’s the single most popular cheese in the world!
O: Not ’round here, sir.
C: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese ’round hyah?
O: ‘Illchester, sir.
C: IS it?
O: Oh, yes, it’s staggeringly popular in this manusquire.
C: Is it?
O: It’s our number one best seller, sir!
C: I see. Uuh… ‘Illchester, eh?
O: Right, sir.
C: All right. Okay. ‘Have you got any?’ He asked, expecting the answer ‘no’.
O: I’ll have a look, sir.. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
C: It’s not much of a cheese shop, is it?
O: Finest in the district sir!
C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
O: Well, it’s so clean, sir!
C: It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
O: (brightly) You haven’t asked me about Limburger, sir.
C: Would it be worth it?
O: Could be.
O: Told you sir…
C: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?
O: No.
C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place……. Tell me:
O: Yessir?
C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?
O: Yes,sir.
C: Really?
O: No. Not really, sir.
C: You haven’t.
O: No sir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.
C: Well I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to shoot you.
O: Right-0, sir.
(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the shopkeeper)
C: What a senseless waste of human life.

“And now for something completely different…..”

A wee bit more Monty Python is necessary.

‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on!
This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be!
‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker!
‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace!
If you 
hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies!
‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig!
‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil,
down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!!


“Spamalot” at the Hollywood Bowl press photo

Read our previous Blog Post “Spamalot at the Hollywood Bowl” (link below)

Please FOLLOW us on Twitter if you haven’t yet.
LIKE us on 
Facebook. Subscribe to our YouTube page.


Use the links below to FOLLOW and LIKE us on other social media!


RETURN TO HOMEPAGE> http://www.joshwilltravel.wordpress.com
LIKE & FRIEND us on Facebook> http://www.facebook.com/joshwilltravel
FOLLOW us on Twitter> http://www.twitter.com/joshwilltravel
NOTE: Periscope is done as of March 31st, 2021. And they killed themselves. SAD.

Have you seen my IMDB? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0918756/

The “JoshWillTravel AdventureScope” is now available on Youtube!


Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. [Crosses the bridge]

The Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, Oregon

The Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, Oregon

Ashland, Oregon Visitor's Map

Ashland, Oregon – Visitor’s Map

Founded in 1935, the Oregon Shakespeare Festival is a not-for-profit professional theatre company located in the City of Ashland in southern Oregon. The performance season runs  ten months of the year, from February through early November.

The OSF’s Mission Statement:
“Inspired by Shakespeare’s work and the cultural richness of the United States, we reveal our collective humanity through illuminating interpretations of new and classic plays, deepened by the kaleidoscope of rotating repertory.”

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The OSF season features eleven works by William Shakespeare and by other classic writers, as well as modern and contemporary work and original world premieres. Plays are performed in three theatres: two indoor stages, the Angus Bowmer Theatre and the Thomas Theatre, and the outdoor Allen Elizabethan Theatre.

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The Green Show & Angus Bowmer Theatre at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The Green Show presents FREE performances on an outdoor stage in the courtyard by visiting acts before the evening shows (outdoor performances run from early June to mid-October). Backstage tours, park talks, lectures, classes, workshops, pre and post-show conversations, community and special events are also available for visitors.

The Green Show! FREE Performances before the evening show June-October

The Green Show! FREE Performances before the evening show June-October

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The Allen Elizabethan Stage at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The OSF welcomes everyone and believes the inclusion of diverse people, ideas, cultures and traditions enriches both insights into the work presented on stage and in our relationships with each other. They are committed to diversity!

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The Thomas Theatre at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

2015 Season: Much Ado About Nothing, Pericles, Anthony & Cleopatra, Long Days Journey Into Night, Guys & Dolls, The Count of Monte Cristo, Fingersmith, Head Over Heels, Secret Love in Peach Blossom Land, Sweat, and The Happiest Song Plays Last

2016 Season: Hamlet, Twelfth Night, Richard II, Timon of Athens, Great Expectations, Roe, The Winter’s Tale, The Wiz, The River Bride, The Yeoman of The Guard and Vietgone,  

Detailed Information and Tickets are available on the OSF website at http://www.osfashland.org

Visit our facebook page http://www.facebook.com/theatreinashland for more about Ashland!




Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

The Allen Elizabethan Theatre at OSF from Lithia Park (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

What’s your favorite Shakespeare play?

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival (copyright 2014 JoshWillTravel)

Some Music Videos I Worked On:


Let’s tale a little trip down memory lane…if I can remember.


Music! Video! Combine the two and you have MTV when it was Music Television.

I used to work Freelance Production for film, television, video, commercials, theater and live events. Here are some of the Music Videos I worked on in the early 90s:


Neil Young & Crazy Horse – “Why Do I Keep F*ckin’ Up?”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKaDCP-wKr8

Neil Young & Crazy Horse – “Mansion On The Hill”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1WpgTzf8nk

Oil Factory Inc. Directed by Billy Poveda and Bernard Shakey Set PA, Runner, Driver, Grip and Art Department Shot both videos in a week at the Troubadour, a house on West Adams and in, around and under Queen of Angels Hospital in Los Angeles.

Day 1: We set up at the Troubadour for the live performance shots. We had a small hiccup in production when Neil showed up. Billy the director thought that Neil would just lip-sync to audio playback but Neil wanted to perform it live, so we had to get a big P.A. system ASAP because Neil also wanted it LOUD. Once the speakers arrived, they played both songs live a bunch of times and shot a ton of film. It was pretty cool because Neil wanted to play to an audience, so I got to be as close as the cameraman is in the video to the live performance. And you have to hand to Crazy Horse (Ralphie, Poncho and Billy) because they rock hard and they were great guys to hang with! I also got to meet Larry, Neil’s Guitar Tech (who plays banjo in the “Heart of Gold” concert video directed by Jonathan Demme).

Days 2, 3 and 4: We shot in, around and under Queen of Angel’s Hospital. The hospital and chapel scenes were shot there. The gas station scenes (and a funeral procession that was cut) were shot around the neighborhood. Neil’s wife Pegi is the beautiful woman sitting with him in the limosine. And the steam tunnel shots were shot under the hospital and we had to get some serious air conditioning units because the lights and crew added to the already high temperature underground.

On Day 4 we went to prep the house for the next day. Day 5: We shot at a rundown house on West Adams hill. We had to clean it before we could dress it for shooting. I had to clean 10 years of dirt and grime off every windowpane in the house and the glass doors that Neil enters through. I couldn’t say, “I don’t do windows”. And then they wanted us to cover them with gauze! The shoot went late and the strike went into early morning before we wrapped. One of the most surreal moments of my life was sitting with Neil Young in his dressing room as his trainer worked him out and listening to him curse MTV for censoring his work. Later he would win an MTV Award for best video for his anti-sponsorship song “This Note’s For You!” Bernard Shakey is Neil Young, and he had a big hand in directing and editing the project. I think the video came out pretty good. But you decide for yourself.

Alice Cooper – ABC’s “In Concert ’91” (magic screen and title animation): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyh82mIwT6U 

Television series Directed by Marty Callner Stargate Films Inc. visual and optical Effects, main title graphics and promos Asst Production Coordinator, PA/Runner/Driver, Craft Service & Catering Special Effects Assistant

Alice Cooper – “Hey Stoopid!”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcAl93uEYUA

Alice Cooper – “Hey Stoopid!” Tour (stage production & L.A. rehearsals) “Feed My Frankenstein” from “Wayne’s World”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO2cHJmDkBg

“Hey Stoopid!” music video and Magic Screen effect at Stargate Films Inc. and L.A. Tour Production and Rehearsals for Nightmare Inc. (as seen on ABC’s “In Concert ’91”, music videos, and “Wayne’s World”)

Alice Cooper “Hey Stoopid!” scene with Pauly Shore from MTV’s “Totally Pauly”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjCybElolYk (a funny interstitial skit from MTV that they shot with Alice torturing Pauly Shore on stage)

Poison – “So Tell Me Why” (cool pyrotechnics by Academy Award winner Joe Viskocil): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1NkhR5hFZE  

Stargate Films Inc. visual, practical, pyrotechnic and optical effects Asst Production Coordinator, PA/Runner/Driver, Craft Service & Catering Special Effects Assistant (worked with pyrotechnican Joe Viskocil – Oscar winner for “Independence Day” on this, “Highlander II”, and HBO’s “Afterburn”) Oh yeah, it blew up real good!

NOTE: Leon, the gray haired gentleman was an award winning cinematographer and Jerry, the African-american gentleman was a production coordinator at Stargate Films.

Ozzy Osbourne – “Mama I’m Coming Home”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRCSxArdOtw

Ozzy Osbourne – “No More Tears” (there was a PCB fire emergency on set!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykA0dAr6ASQ

Stargate Films Inc. visual and optical effects Asst Production Coordinator, PA/Runner/Driver, Craft Service & Catering Special Effects Assistant

Cameo – “Emotional Violence” (had to listen to this playback all night long!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzjAvNjbJXw

The End Productions Set PA Shot at Lacy Street Studios in downtown Los Angeles

Alice in Chains – “Sea of Sorrow” (original video in color): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxZv3LDNFrw

The Oil Factory, Inc. directed by Billy Poveda Set PA, Runner, Driver, Grip and Art Department Shot at the Chaplin Stage at A&M Records (now the Jim Henson Studios) RIP Layne Staley and Mike Starr (I met them both, and they were cool guys.)

Lavar – “Vanilla Melt” (with a FUCKIN’ TIGER on set!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgufrn8FXmQ

Oil Factory Inc. Directed by Billy Poveda PLEASE NOTE: I don’t work with F*CKING TIGERS!!!!! (or any other large animals that might kill me and eat me, thank you very much) They had the tiger doped up and overfed, but at one point it decided it wanted to go “over there” and so the 800 pound tiger pulled it’s handler across the stage. Beautiful animal and the footage was cool, but I’ve always been against the exploitation of wild animals. Today they’d probably just CGI it in. “Never get out of the boat….a f*ckin’ tiger man!”

Animal Logic – “Rose Coloured Glasses”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXKpxEDVzJY

Oil Factory Inc. directed by Billy Poveda and Dave Stewart Deborah Holland, Stewart Copeland, Stanley Jordan Set PA, Runner, Driver, Grip and Art Department





UPDATE: Here’s the “Rock the Vote” PSA‘s from 1991 we worked on>

Read the Blog! “Censorship is UnAmerican!”http://wp.me/p3dhVM-175

Iggy Pop reads the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. He is gradually having tape wrapped around his body. At the end, the tape covers his mouth. “Express yourself. Vote.” (I was the guy wrapping him in cellophane tape!)


I finally found the Iggy Pop PSA! The page has links to all the spots I worked on!
WATCH THE CLIP!> http://mediaburn.org/video/rock-the-vote-33-spots/?t=3:49

Watch the clip!>

VIEW MY IMDB.COM PAGE & CREDITS> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0918756/

UPDATE! 11-28-16 I just discovered that they shot this too while I was off set on runs! After almost 30 years… Neil Young “Farmer John” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXOeNLs0EBY

9039 Sunset Blvd on the Strip

9039 Sunset Blvd on the Strip – A Brief Photographic History:

If those walls could talk! This address was the home of Cafe LaMaze in the 30’s (with a lounge called the Key Club), Sherry’s in the 40’s (where Mickey Cohen was shot), the Plymouth House in the 50’s, Gazzarri’s in the 60’s-80’s, Billboard Live and the Key Club in the 90s until last December 2013 when it became 1 Oak Nightclub.


9039 Sunset Blvd – Cafe LaMaze 1930’s


9039 Sunset Blvd – Sherry’s 1940’s (Mickey Cohen was shot here!)

9039 Sunset Blvd

9039 Sunset Blvd – The Plymouth House 1958

9039 Sunset - Gazzarri's Supper Club 1960's

9039 Sunset – Gazzarri’s Supper Club 1960’s

9039 Sunset Blvd

9039 Sunset Blvd – Gazzari’s 1970’s

9039 Sunset Blvd

9039 Sunset Blvd – Gazzarri’s 1980’s  Bill Gazzarri “See Ya Pal”

9039 Sunset Blvd

9039 Sunset Blvd – Billboard Live and then the KeyClub 1990’s- 2013 RIP

I used to promote club nights as Joshua 13 with Stephen Aquarius and Luis Q NightKing Productions at the KeyClub! “Cloud 9” on Wednesday and Friday nights, “The Indepen-Dance 1998”, “Midsummers Night Dream 1998”, “Saturday Nights in the Plush Room” and “The Resolution!” on New Years Eve 1998-1999.

MidSummers Night Dream Party at the KeyClub 1998

MidSummers Night Dream Party at the KeyClub 1998

Saturday Nights in the Plush Room at the KeyClub

Saturday Nights in the Plush Room at the KeyClub

"The Resolution" New Years Eve 1998-1999! at the KeyClub

“The Resolution” New Years Eve 1998-1999! at the KeyClub

 Now it’s the new 1 Oak Nightclub. (but for how long?)

9039 Sunset Blvd - 1 Oak Nightclub 2014

9039 Sunset Blvd – 1 Oak Nightclub 2014

UPDATE: Not too long after this Blog was posted, rap mogul/convicted felon Suge Knight was shot “six times” at a pre-VMA party at 1Oak nightclub. Lucky mo-fo will survive the shooting. Weird parallel to the Mickey Cohen shooting in the 40’s!

“And it’s all just a little bit of History repeating!”


Pic of the Day 02-MAY-13: HOME – Silverlake, CA

HOME – Silverlake, CA

Vaudeville Comedy Show at HOME in Silverlake, California on a Wednesday night.

HOME - Silverlake, CA

HOME – Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

Exit the 5 freeway at Fletcher and it’s on the corner at Riverside.  They only have valet parking, but there’s free street parking if you don’t mind hoofing it a block or two.

HOME - Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

HOME – Silverlake, CA (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

Enter the bar and restaurant through the outdoor patio.

HOME - Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

HOME – Silverlake, CA (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

Free Comedy! 9pm – So I got there at a quarter after nine.  I sat at the bar and decided to order a “Homemade Bloody Mary” which the menu claims was “Awarded best in city search!”.  I called for Stolichnaya vodka. My bartender Sasha was friendly and the service was fast, because I was the only person at the bar.  The Bloody Mary was only okay. $10 + $2 tip

HOME - Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

HOME – Silverlake, CA (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

I went into the side dining room which partitions off with curtains into a cool performance space.  There’s a curtained stage and PA with booth and table seating. They had a few technical problems with the stage lights once the show started, but they fixed them.  My waiter David took my dinner order: a Classic Burger and sweet potato fries. The service was very good. $12 + $3 tip

The show started around 9:45pm.

HOME - Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

HOME – Silverlake, CA (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

They turned the house lights all the way down. and the comedians were standing too far forward so most of the time it was “standup in the dark”.

The two Host-Producers need to step it up or let someone else HOST the show.  It was a mixed lineup of six comedians.  The highlight was Ron Fuchas:

HOME - Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

HOME – Silverlake, CA (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

And the headliner was the hilarious and ascerbic Kyle Kinane:

HOME - Silverlake, CA  (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

HOME – Silverlake, CA (copyright 2013 JoshWillTravel)

The show ended at about 11:30pm and the Host-Producer warned the audience that it was Karaoke time!  And then he burst into off-key wailing.

Time to make a speedy exit!!!

HOME2500 Riverside Dr (at Fletcher) in Silverlake, CA

NOTE: Free comedy cost me $27, but it was a good burger and fries and the bloody mary got better as the evening went on.