SATURDAY AFTERNOON NO BUENO.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON NO BUENO.

TRIGGER-WARNING

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): a mental health condition that’s triggered by a traumatic or terrifying event – either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares or unwanted memories of the trauma, severe anxiety, depression, avoidance of situations that bring back memories of the trauma, anger, insomnia, heightened reactions, panic attacks, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

NOTE: Triggered by a situation that was not of my making, extra frustrating because I  knew it might happen and gave a warning, and then my warning was ignored.

WARNING_CORRECTIVE_ACTION_LABEL_100_X_100MM-page-001

Saturday – some time after 2pm:
I can’t focus. I can’t stop crying.
I’m going back and forth between uncontrollable anger and uncontrollable sadness.
Trying to countdown from 10 and can’t make it past 8….
For someone always “in control” this is beyond uncomfortable.

I’m starving because I didn’t have dinner last night and I want to make steak tacos, but as I was pounding the meat a few minutes ago I lost all interest in making food. And as I was losing it again, I thought maybe writing about how I was feeling would help, if not me maybe someone else.

My stomach is growling and bubbling with anxiety, and have a headache that feels like my head is in a pressure cooker, I’m feeling incredibly stressed and also ready to jump into a fight, but there’s no one here but me. And my heart feels like its gonna pop out of my chest like the creature in “Alien”….

There’s football on TV and I don’t care. The sound is off and I’m not able to pay attention to it. And I’m still on the verge of crying. Which is probably better than being balled up in bed weeping like I was 30 minutes ago before I went into the kitchen to make food.

KEEP IT TOGETHER. KEEP IT TOGETHER. KEEP IT TOGETHER.
IT IS NOT A JOKE.
The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions.

There are sirens from far away that set me off. I can hear them because I was sitting here in silence, and it’s a beautiful day outside, and the windows are open… but I can’t enjoy the beautiful day and I’m fucking sad. A few hours ago I was raging. Full of anger.
I still want to break something. Or grab a hammer or baseball bat and go to work.
But that’s not allowed.

Taking a lot of deep breaths and keep closing my eyes. And the fucking plumber is here fixing a toilet, so I can’t leave, not that I want to, but I can’t. And he keeps setting of the Ring chime to remind that he’s here fixing the toilet for hours.

And now I’m starving again with a fucking headache and the Ring chime keeps ringing. And now I’m crying again. KEEP IT ToGETHER.
It’s 5:01pm on Saturday. It should have been a nice day.
TOTAL FUCKING BUZZKILL.

Thinking, “should I edit this?” as I read what I wrote……. NO, just gonna leave it alone.
Probably won’t ever get published. PTSD is real. Depression is a killer.

Maybe we should talk about the weather. Out of the corner of our eye, I noticed football was over and boxing was beginning, so I changed the channel to the news and turned on the volume and it was the weather. Now it’s commercials. Volume off again.

Back to sitting here in silence, well not exactly, because the birds are making noise outside the window and the fucking plumber is still here.
Okay going to try food again. That will help with the headache I expect.
KEEP IT TOGETHER. Still just sitting here. 5:15pm
And now we’ve calmed down some, and we feel totally exhausted again. And our neck hurts from the stress. And the news is back on with the sound on and it’s the weather again on another channel. Timelapse of the Aurora Borealis in Finland… wow, we’d like to see that. news and commercials. MUTE.
Do we want food? I have to feed the dogs. 5:25pm

84346923_3439339252759283_4194373887707840512_o

6:50pm UPDATE: The plumber finished. I thanked him and he left.
I fed and took care of the dogs and then made food. It had a calming effect.
Steak soft tacos with fresh guacamole and cran-raspberry juice for dinner.
Dogs are happy, and resting quietly. I feel better now.
THIS IS NO JOKE. Keep it together. Breathe.

WARNING_CORRECTIVE_ACTION_LABEL_100_X_100MM-page-001

NOTE: Our calm was restored, and the situation was corrected at 9pm. It was a very difficult day. I continued to work on this Blog Post but did not edit the original section.

People with PTSD are dangerous! There is a risk after the traumatic event of personality changes with serious individual and social consequences.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, there are places to get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at 1-800-273-8255. You can also chat with them online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/.

Did you know that if you text 741741 when you are feeling depressed, suicidal or anxious, a crisis worker will text you back and continue to text with you? Many people, especially younger folks, do not like talking on the phone and would be more comfortable texting. It’s a free service to ANYONE – teens, adults, etc. – who lives in the U.S. It’s run by The Crisis Text Line and is legit.

Read the previous Blog Post “Depression? Questions to Ask – Before Giving Up!”>
https://joshwilltravel.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/depression-questions-to-ask-before-giving-up/

Use the links below to FOLLOW and LIKE us on other social media!
RIGHT CLICK and “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW LINKS>

RETURN TO HOMEPAGE> http://www.joshwilltravel.wordpress.com
LIKE & FRIEND us on Facebook> http://www.facebook.com/joshwilltravel
FOLLOW us on Periscope> http://www.periscope.tv/joshwilltravel
FOLLOW us on Twitter> http://www.twitter.com/joshwilltravel

Have you seen my IMDB? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0918756/

RIGHT CLICK AND “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW OUR YOUTUBE PAGE!>
The “JoshWillTravel AdventureScope” is now available on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoP3QQfRTfD-2eABWVd-JwQ

joshwilltravel promo

It’s ok to not be ok sometimes. People care about you and the world would not be the same without you in it. ❤️

UPDATE: Very stressful Saturday, so we ate all of our See’s Valentine’s Day candies.

Update Monday February 17, 2020:
It took almost a day to recover (yesterday) and to return to “normal” and we are still feeling some after effects from Saturday’s freakout. Reviewing and reflecting on our feelings and trying to process it all. You don’t know about PTSD until you’ve been there.

84688116_3026116310773983_5435062473482829824_o

 



 

 

 

Once again it’s WineWednesday! “We Be Chillin’!”

Once again it’s #WineWednesday! “We Be Chillin’!”

10286925_868548989838335_7277557001985640192_o

#WineWednesday! “We Be Chillin’!”

What happened to March? Tempus fugit (Time flies…)
What happened to TODAY? How is it 11am and I haven’t done anything?

I woke up with a headache.
Actually one of the puppies woke me up to tell me it was time for breakfast.
I had a morning cup of espresso and a glass of orange juice (not from concentrate).
My head still hurts.

The television is on, but the volume is off <MUTE>.
The puppies are sleeping. One is under my desk, the other is laying in the pen.
NOTE: I took their pictures and this is almost “real time”:

It’s also “Gardener Wednesday”, so there will be leaf blowers and lawn mowers.
Construction continues next door. They will never be done.
Right now I’m sitting here in silence.

I haven’t eaten anything yet today.
Last night I made spaghetti with meat sauce, a salad and garlic bread:

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

I’m thinking pan-fried leftover spaghetti with meat sauce for brunch. Be right back.

17626185_1748664221826803_3441390907112512520_n

Almost “real-time” Pan-fried Leftover Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

Spaghetti and an iced espresso and an aspirin for brunch.
It’s currently 80 degrees outside in the San Fernando Valley.
And the time is 11:49am Pacific Standard Time.
Now a word from our SPONSOR:

Your-Name-Here

YOUR NAME HERE! SPONSOR JOSHWILLTRAVEL! Contact Us!

So we cooked and ate the spaghetti, drank the iced espresso and took the aspirin.

17499106_1748683138491578_767166008721132828_n

Blue Sky with Contrails Wednesday at Noon

And the puppies went outside and so I did too.
And it’s getting warmer. And I still have a headache.

17554103_1748682758491616_5456692446215690009_n

Wednesday Noon – Puppies Chillin’ on the Patio in the Sun

“The Chew” is just too loud today.


On Sunday we went out to the Paramount Ranch in Agoura, California for the annual Renaissance Faire Reunion and it was a beautiful day!

17457410_1748580521835173_5310316934689595126_n

Sunday in the Park – Paramount Ranch in Agoura, California

We uploaded about 200 new pics of people and places from the past and from our Sunday adventure. Everything was very green! It was cloudy and then clear, so there are a lot of great pics from the gathering. Here are just three (and the one above) for now:

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

We’ll be creating a Blog with the pics from the Reunion in the very near future. And you can check out our previous Blog “Return to the Paramount Ranch” for pics from 2013 and 2014.


Wednesday 12:20pm: And they’re down again

17499239_1748697521823473_9161725716821767049_n

It’s a Dog’s Life! Wednesday 12:20pm

12:35pm: The gardeners are here, the leaf blowers are blowing and the dogs are barking….
MY HEAD FEELS LIKE IT’S GOING TO EXPLODE (did you ever see “Scanners”?)

MORE TO COME…..maybe. (The time is now 12:45pm)

17553481_1748037211889504_485780984549715358_n

“The Dude and Trump have a lot in common…
both have bathrobes, both obsessed with their rugs, and they both love White Russians”
– Seth Meyers 3-28-17

And we’re back! 5pm:
I crashed about 1pm, slept for about 3 hours and then woke up, and still had a headache, but it wasn’t as bad. It’s beautiful and very bright outside today. Windy and warm! I know this because  were just there with the puppies…outside that is.

So we are up and we have an iced espresso, and the dogs have been outside, and they are now laying down again waiting for their suppertime.

p.s. Your internet history was just sold by the Republicans in Congress!
You have NO PRIVACY!
The Republicans in Congress are in the pockets of BIG CORPORATIONS and have put CORPORATE PROFITS over their sworn duty to provide PUBLIC PROTECTION AND PRIVACY!
Your ISP Provider can now sell your info to anyone without your permission!
(the new FCC regulations the Republican Congress just removed
would have required consumer consent and permission)

And don’t worry about that stuff about the Russians….
probably nothing, just “fake news”.

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

WHAT THE F*CK?!!! HOW IS THIS NOT NOT BEING INVESTIGATED BY CONGRESS? 
If you’re a Republican, you might want to take another look at your guys. Just sayin’.

IMG_1888

THIS MAN IS A TRAITOR FROM CALIFORNIA! LOCK HIM UP!

Seriously,
RIGHT CLICK “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW and then LIKE
TELL THE USA TO DUMP TRUMP on facebook>
http://www.facebook.com/usadumptrump

And it’s 6pm and time for the puppies to eat. Thanks for reading our Blog today!

Use the links below to FOLLOW and LIKE us on other social media!
RIGHT CLICK and “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW LINKS>

RETURN TO HOMEPAGE> http://www.joshwilltravel.wordpress.com
LIKE & FRIEND us on Facebook> http://www.facebook.com/joshwilltravel
FOLLOW us on Periscope> http://www.periscope.tv/joshwilltravel
FOLLOW us on Twitter> http://www.twitter.com/joshwilltravel

RIGHT CLICK AND “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW OUR YOUTUBE PAGE!>
The “JoshWillTravel AdventureScope” is now available on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoP3QQfRTfD-2eABWVd-JwQ

From the interweb game that’s going around for “Book Week”, we shared this except on a friend’s timeline and also thought we would share it here:

Wear no clothing emblazoned with opinions or exhortations.
If you own any T-shirts with such legends as “I’m with Stupid” or “100% Bitch” or “Nobody Knows Me Like Cosmo” please put this book down and back away slowly.

17457776_1748730641820161_1281204974243343513_n

Read It, Learn It, Live It.

Esquire’s “Things A Man Should Know About Style”
by Scott Omelianuk and Ted Allen (recently found this cool book in Storage)