An “Adult” Christmas Blog! NSFW?

An “Adult” Christmas Blog! NSFW?
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Happy December Holiday Season again!
We’ve decided to have a little ADULT FUN with this Blog Post! Yes NSFW!

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NSFW! So that means, if “R” Rated humor is offensive to you,
DON’T READ THIS BLOG POST! SCROLL TO THE NEXT ONE! NSFW!

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HO HO HO! “Santa’s gotta stay…”

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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Let’s get this party started! (“Let’s get retarded!”) See what I did there?

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“You know that’s not a candy cane in my pocket… I’m just happy to see you.”

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Santa Freud

Q: Ho, Ho, Ho. Wanna see the North Pole?

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Q: Is your name Jingle Bells?
Because you look ready to go all the way.

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#MeToo!

There once was a fellow name Sweeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
And just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

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“Excelsior!”

Party time, Roman Style!
Saturnalia
was an ancient Roman festival and an occasion of wild revelry in honor of Saturn in December, a period of general merrymaking and the predecessor of Christmas. Public sacrifices, banquets, feasting, gift-giving, gladiators and gambling!

Gonna Be A GREEN CHRISTMAS This Year!

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Willie Nelson!

Willie Nelson and Friends “Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I’m Gone”

Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg LIVE in Amsterdam! “I Ain’t Superman”

 

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“I Don’t Care Who You Are Old Fatso, Get Those Reindeer Off My Roof!”

Cheech and Chong’s “Santa Claus and His Old Lady” A Christmas Classic!

“Once upon a time, about, hmmm, five years ago, there was this groovy dude
And has name was Santa Claus, y’know? And he used to live over in the
Projects with his old lady, and they had a pretty good thing together
Because his old lady was really fine, and she could cook and all that
Stuff like that, y’know. Like, she made da best brownies in town, man!
Oh, I could remember ’em now, man. I could eat one of ’em, man…”

“Santa Clause and His Old Lady” reached Number 4 on the Billboard Christmas Singles chart when it was released in 1971, then peaked again at number 3 on the same chart in 1972 and 1973. “¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?”

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Q: What do you call Santa’s Elves?
A: Subordinate Clauses.

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Well at least there’s one wise guy…

“The guy who invented Christmas should be nailed to a cross!”

BAD SANTA!

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

Q: Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
A: Because he knows better than to try the back door.

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Q: What do three HOs get you?
A: One very jolly Santa.

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CA, OR, WA, NV, CO, AK, VT, MI, MA, ME have made Marijuana Legal in 2018!

CELEBRATE THE END OF MARIJUANA PROHIBITION! 

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O, Canada made Marijuana Legal in 2018!

Don’t forget that the GOP and BIG PHARMA are the ones who caused the “Opioid Crisis” and the deaths of thousands of American citizens.

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JUST LIKE CRAZY OTTO!

Q: What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.

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“Nice package, Santa”

 

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Shaggy inna Baggie! And Scooby with a Doobie! “Ruh-Roh!”

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

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In their lust for a haul at the mall,
Panty shoppers broke into a brawl.
To put it quite briefly
The reasons are chiefly
Their vainness and greed — a clothes call.

CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

“It’s Christmas time and my rhyme’s steady bumpin’,
Everybody happy, hair still nappy,
Gonna steal a gift for my old Grandpappy…”

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Santa Snoop!

Hope this Blog Post doesn’t get me or you on the “Naughty List”
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Seriously, if you’re offended, GET A F*CKING LIFE! (and see our previous Blog Posts)

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THIS GUY! (that’s all)

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Use the links below to FOLLOW and LIKE us on other social media!

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What day of Christmas is this?

 

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“Johnny said, Devil, just come on back
If you ever want to try again,
I done told you once, you son of a bitch,
I’m the best there´s ever been”


 

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HO HO HO! Our December Holiday Music Playlist 2018!

HO HO HO!
Here is our December Holiday Music Playlist for 2018!

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“…some burgers, some beers, a few laughs.
Our f*cking troubles are over, Dude.”
– Walter Sobchak, “The Big Lebowski”

Jimmy Buffett “Mele Kalikimaka”

From the classic “Year Without A Santa Claus”, it’s Snow Miser!

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I’m Mister White Christmas
I’m Mister Snow
I’m Mister Icicle
I’m Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I’m too much!

 

Welcome to our December Holiday Music Playlist! We hope you enjoy this year’s selections of festive curated tunes for your listening pleasure.
So, let’s get this Winter Party started and everyone have a real good time!

The Drifters “White Christmas”

We wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah,
a Glorious Kwanzaa, a Celebratory December Holiday,
Joyous Winter Solstice, a Raucous Saturnalia,
a Pleasant Festivus for the Rest of Us and a Healthy New Year!

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Old School Cool! Have a Koo Koo Kristmas December Holiday!

Dean Martin “Walking In A Winter Wonderland”

Dean Martin & Frank Sinatra Christmas Duet “A Marshmallow World” (12-21-1967)

Frank Sinatra & Bing Crosby “Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town” & “White Christmas” 1957

And just to briefly address the controversy of this year’s Holiday Season:

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Worry about something else. Like Starbuck’s cups.
Or whether “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie (Yes It Is.).

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“Now I have a machine gun. Ho, Ho, Ho!”

Christmas With Vince Gill in Tulsa 12-22-1993
Amy Grant, Chet Atkins, Vince Gill and Michael McDonald
“Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”, “East Tennessee Christmas”, Vince and Chet pick “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” and everyone sings “Christmastime Is Near”.

Grand Ol’ Opry: Chet Atkins, Duane Eddy, Doyle Dykes, Mike Snyder “I Saw The Light”

United States Navy Band “Dueling Jingle Bells” (your tax dollars paid for this)

 

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Greg Lake with Ian Anderson on flute, David Arch on keyboards, Florian Opahle on acoustic guitar and the St. Bride’s Church choir perform “I Believe in Father Christmas” Live in London.

 

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“How about a football kid?”

Grateful Dead 1971 “Run Rudolph Run” (Pigpen on lead vocals)

Hey Now! If you’ve come this far, perhaps you’ll go a little FURTHUR. Aiko Aiko All Day!

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“Wishing You a Jerry Christmas and Happy Bob Weir!”

Grateful Dawg “G-d Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” (Garcia/Grisman arrangement)

Rockin’ Around the Christmas December Holiday Tree!
It’s the Christmas December Holiday party hop!

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You Need MORE COWBELL!

Everyone loves a December Holiday Flashmob!
Adrián De la Garza, the Mayor of Monterrey, Mexico, shares a Flashmob:
Los Mariachis! “Feliz Navidad” & “White Christmas” 

And Another AMAZING Flashmob! (just wait for the guitar solo!)
popCHORn Choir’s “Stairway to Heaven” in the Kirschgarten in Mainz, Germany

Just Enjoy the Music. Just Enjoy the Music. Shut Up. Just Enjoy the Music.
(just one of the cool things you can find on YouTube after midnight)

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Elf Yourself!

Pink Floyd’s “Shine on You Crazy Diamond” for Mandolin Orchestra
Live at der Schlossgartenhalle Ettlingen in Germany
“Remember when we young, we shone like the sun”

I am not your Santa Clause! “Call me Elf one more time!” 

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“You’re Not Santa. You Smell Like Beef And Cheese.”

NOTE: We did not make a Christmas/December Holiday music playlist last year,
so if you need to hear some more seasonal tunes (and these are very cool tunes),
click and open the links to our 2015 and 2016 Holiday Music Blog Posts:
2015 Holiday Music Playlist>
https://joshwilltravel.wordpress.com/2015/12/24/christmas-countdown-playlist-2015/
2016 Holiday Music Playlist>
https://joshwilltravel.wordpress.com/2016/12/25/holiday-music-playlist-2016/

Burning christmas tree

Oh Burning Christmas December Holiday Tree!

Use the links below to FOLLOW and LIKE us on other social media!

RIGHT CLICK and “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW LINKS>

LIKE us on Facebook> http://www.facebook.com/joshwilltravel

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RETURN TO HOMEPAGE> http://www.joshwilltravel.wordpress.com

RIGHT CLICK AND “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW OUR YOUTUBE PAGE!>

The “JoshWillTravel AdventureScope” is now available on Youtube!>
(And our Periscope videos from Katch are now posted on YouTube)
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Oh, Christmas December Holiday Tree!

And finally, that time
The Band opened for The Grateful Dead on New Year’s Eve ’83-’84

Pax et Justitia (Peace and Justice)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM JOSHWILLTRAVEL!

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CarrotTop in the Remake of “Home Alone!”



Sharing this vid from the Retro Relief for Fire Victims (see our previous Blog Post).
If you need someone to get the party started here’s Doña Oxford doing the Boogie Woogie on electric piano! I’d definitely invite her to play my next party!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E21XFEiB99A

UPDATE: OMG Shatner Claus! “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”
with Coyote Shivers (vocals) and Billy Gibbons (guitar)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrmN1yuID_k


 

 

 

 

 

90000 Hits!

90001 Hits!
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Ninety Thousand and One Hits!
90001 Hits On This Blog!
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It’s RAINING! It’s really RAINING!
It does rain in Southern California!
(Please stay out of the Pacific Ocean for at least 72 hours!)

WINTER IS HERE!  HELLO DECEMBER 2018!
Water is falling from the sky. There is snow falling in the mountains!

Thanksgiving is over. (see our previous Blog Post)
It was a great feast and we are very thankful for everything we have!

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How ’bout a snort?

Now…. THE HOLIDAY SEASON. “Tis the Season!”
Already sick of Christmas music and it’s still only November.
NOTE: Someone posted Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” from “Holiday Inn” on the interweb and we couldn’t watch it. JUST TOO SOON! Not even close to December 24th!

DECEMBER 2nd is THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANNUKAH!

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HAPPY HANNUKAH 2018!

We ripped the Google Hannukah Doodle>
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And we made Latkes (potato pancakes) for Sunday breakfast!
(see our previous Blog Post for the recipe and instructions)

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Latkes (potato pancakes) for Breakfast!

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NOTE: There’s a pretty fun Blog Post about Hannukah from last year. And a good one about “Festivus for the Rest of Us!” And there are a few more about Holiday Stuff too, including our past HOLIDAY MUSIC PLAYLISTS.

Are you ready for Christmas the December Holiday celebrated by everyone?
Screw the Yule Log, I’ve been to Burning Man!

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BURN CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!

This is already going around,
but we’ll post it here before it goes wild viral,
’cause it’s effin’ funny:

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Make your own “Die Hard” Christmas tree ornament for the tree!

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Copy, Print, Cut Out. Figure it out…. “Come out to the coast.”

Yes, “Die Hard” is a Christmas Film.

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HoHoHo! Modern Christmas!

We’ll do our cool Holiday Music Playlist Blog Post later…. maybe.

NOTE: We did not make a Christmas/Holiday music playlist last year,
so if you need to hear some more seasonal tunes (and these are very cool tunes),
click and open the links to our 2015 and 2016 Holiday Music Blog Posts:
2015 Holiday Music Playlist>
https://joshwilltravel.wordpress.com/2015/12/24/christmas-countdown-playlist-2015/
2016 Holiday Music Playlist>
https://joshwilltravel.wordpress.com/2016/12/25/holiday-music-playlist-2016/

‘Tis the season Dude,
Eat, Drink, Be Merry and Watch
“The Big Lebowski”

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Dead & Company just announced the 2019 Summer Tour!
We still haven’t seen them LIVE in concert (other than on the interweb) and “this might be the last time”….. but they usually play better together as the tour progresses.

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And speaking of LIVE MUSIC>

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Tuesday Night Traffic on the 101 Freeway to Burbank

Doña Oxford perform at the Fire Victims Retro Relief benefit (see out previous Blog Post) and she was fantastic! So, we went back on Tuesday night and saw her again at Joe’s Great American Bar in Burbank>
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CLICK ON ANY SMALL PIC TO SEE A LARGER PIC AND VIEW THE GALLERY
AND THEN CLICK AGAIN TO VIEW THE PIC AT FULL SIZE!

The crowd was fun and friendly. Doña played 3 sets (we stayed for the first two) and she was awesome! Tuesday night is “swing dance” night and there are great dancers in the house and out on the floor. Really fun to watch as they Shag and Jitterbug! Joe’s has very reasonably priced strong drinks and their bar food looks pretty good (we still haven’t eaten there) also for a good price. If you’re okay with “fast food”, there’s a Taco Bell next door that’s open until midnight. We haven’t eaten any fast food (except for Habit Burger) in a very long time…. but it was there, and it was Tuesday.

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Taco Bell! 3 Regular Crunchy Tacos with Hot Sauce

So we ate, drank and listened to some great music, but we didn’t stay for the third set because we were tired, starting to get a headache, hungry again and our back was hurting something awful. Too much sitting and too much standing., so we headed home for bed before midnight.

NOTE: The price of going to a concert is out of control! $100+fees+parking+concessions to see a show is a luxury for most people, and most people can’t afford it these days. Please support Venues and Bands that don’t charge a COVER! 

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“Beats the hell out of a Yule log.”

HAD OUR YEARLY PHYSICAL! Mind your health, it’s the most important thing!

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Eat, Drink and Be Happy. We’re all gonna die.

AND NOW SOME POLITICAL STUFF>
Mueller’s questioning might take a strange turn (he should get Liam Neeson!)

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LYIN’ CHEATIN’ CROOKED EVIL DONNY!

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The Walls Are Closing In on Lyin’ Crooked Evil Donny!

Key Mueller witness and Roger Stone associate Jerome Corsi admits to MSNBC’s Ari Melber that he lied to Congress, that he tried to get stolen Clinton emails back to the Trump campaign in 2016, that he “absolutely” intended to help the Trump campaign by doing so, that he told Roger Stone about John Podesta’s emails and that his lawyers are still communicating with Trump’s legal team “as if” there is a joint legal defense.

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CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! VIOLATIONS OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT!

Whatever your political posture is, this is WRONG.
Every citizen of the United States must protect our Democratic Government!

Warmonger! Assassin! Mass Murderer! Celebrate him!
He was a murderer and a war criminal.
Oh boy, let’s play “follow the casket” as they honor this POS.
LYIN’ CHEATIN’ CROOKED EVIL GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH!

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The Danger of Comedy! He was a Murderer and a War Criminal!

That’s all for now. And now back to our HAPPY BLOG POST!

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What Do You See?

We collect JOKERS!
Proud to be a “Card Carrying Fool” and follower of St. Stupid!
(see our previous Blog Posts)

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“Chestnuts roasting on an open pyre.”

The LA AUTO SHOW is back in town! (read our previous Blog Post)

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From the LA AUTO SHOW in 2016

PEACE ON EARTH. GOODWILL TO ALL. STOP THE VIOLENCE. NO HATE.
“DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.”

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“Can We All Just Get Along?” – Rodney King

Monday, December 3rd, 2018 just after Noon: OK, going to publish this Blog Post!

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The War on Christmas is Coming!

Yes, there will be a DECEMBER HOLIDAY BLOG POST in the very near future.
No, we are not taking a Christmas Vacation this year (again).

FIESTAWARE FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER! Good Shabbos Everyone!
ON THE MENU: Cousins visiting from out of town. Cornish game hens with stuffing, asparagus, challah bread, cran-raspberry-orange juice and then a $5 cake for dessert.

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Banana Split & Espresso in Red Fiestaware at 3am on Monday Morning

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THANK YOU! 90000 HITS!

From Wikipedia:
90000 (ninety thousand) is the natural number following 89999 and preceding 90001.
It is the sum of the cubes of the first 24 positive integers, and is the square of 300.
90000Subs

READ OUR PREVIOUS HOLIDAY BLOG POSTS!
https://joshwilltravel.wordpress.com/2017/12/26/happy-christmas-2017/

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I took the “Yiddish Lingo” quiz and scored 100%. Oy vey!

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Use the links below to FOLLOW and LIKE us on other social media!

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The “JoshWillTravel AdventureScope” is now available on Youtube!>
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“Teacher says, Every time a bell rings an angel get his wings”

RECENT BLOG POSTS FROM NOVEMBER:

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“Rock Bottom will teach you lessons that mountaintops never will”

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The Wisdom of Milt & Edie’s in Burbank, California

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Happy Hannukah!



 

 

 

 

#WineWednesday Again!

It’s #WineWednesday Again!
Celebrate the end of November!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Make it “A December You Won’t Need to Remember!”

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Wine Tasting at the Belle Fiore Winery in Ashland, Oregon

READ the “Wine Tasting at the Belle Fiore Winery in Ashland, Oregon” BLOG!> http://wp.me/p3dhVM-1QU
(RIGHT CLICK AND “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW THE LINK)

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Dinner in the Backroom at Mozza Osteria in Hollywood!

READ the “Dinner at Mozza Osteria” BLOG!> http://wp.me/p3dhVM-4fe
(RIGHT CLICK AND “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW THE LINK)

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Wines, Single Malt Scotch and Tequila from Thanksgiving 2016

READ the “Happy Thanksgiving” BLOGS!>
Happy Thanksgiving 2016!> http://wp.me/p3dhVM-5xQ
Happy Thanksgiving 2015!> http://wp.me/p3dhVM-21e
Happy Thanksgiving 2014!> http://wp.me/p3dhVM-1mW
(RIGHT CLICK AND “OPEN IN NEW WINDOW” TO VIEW THE LINKS)

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Fine Wines and Finnish Chocolate from Thanksgiving 2015

 

All photos copyright 2014-2015-2016 JoshWillTravel

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RETURN TO HOMEPAGE: http://www.joshwilltravel.wordpress.com

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The “JoshWillTravel AdventureScope” is now available on Youtube!>
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Party on the Patio at the LUXE Hotel on Sunset!

READ the “LUXE Hotel on Sunset” BLOGS!> 
Sunday Brunch at the LUXE Hotel On Sunset> 
http://wp.me/p3dhVM-Ui
LWH Hotels presents “The Art of Hospitality” at the LUXE Hotel on Sunset> http://wp.me/p3dhVM-JI
Friday at the LUXE Hotel Sunset Boulevard>
http://wp.me/p3dhVM-Gj

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___________________________________________________________

Fool Moon Fever!

Fool Moon Fever!

The moon reached its full phase (just now) at 3:11am Christmas morning. It’s the first full moon on Christmas since 1977 and last until 2034.

Full Moon Friday December 25, 2015 3:11am PST

Fool Moon Fever! Full Moon on Friday December 25, 2015 at 3:11am PST

Happy Christmas!

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